I'm sorry I am not sorry.
Let me clarify...
I am sorry that you feel like you can't talk to me about what's going on in your life anymore. I am sorry you seem to feel like...we're in competition with each other? But most of all, I am sorry, so so sorry for what you've been through. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, & I don't pretend to know how hard it is, was, or continues to be.
But I am not sorry that I met the love of my life first. I am not sorry that he proposed after we'd been together for several years. I am not sorry that we got married at the time that was right for us. I am not sorry that we got pregnant, even though it wasn't 100% planned to happen at that time. I am not sorry that I had a safe, easy pregnancy & birth. I am not sorry that I have the most beautiful baby boy.
I am sorry that all of these things seem to have caused an irreparable rift between us. I'm sorry that we can't talk about anything & everything like we used to. I'm sorry we can't/don't go out dancing anymore.
Finally, I'm sorry I can't keep trying. I feel like you gave up on our friendship the moment I told you I was pregnant. While I can only imagine how hard that was for you, I can't imagine completely withdrawing from the life of someone I called a best friend - especially at a time when they were embarking on something so frightening and exciting and utterly life-changing. It hurt. It hurt that you didn't reach out to me. It hurt that you barely responded when I would reach to you. It hurt that you couldn't support me, but I think it hurt worse that you wouldn't let me support you.
As much as I want to share this new chapter of my life with you, I don't think it would be well received. As much as I want desperately to be part of all the upcoming chapters of your life, I think I'll have to watch them from a distance.
So yes, there are things I'm sorry for, & things I will never be sorry for.
And I just wanted to say that.
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