I won't lie; sometimes I really miss my single bar-scene days. I sometimes miss the tidal wave of confidence that would wash over me when the guy I'd been catching eyes with all night from across the bar would come over and introduce himself, or when I would strut across the room right up to the guy I'd been batting my eyes at and flashing coy little smiles and offer to buy him a drink.
Getting really dressed up and doing shots at the bar with my girlfriends, then heading straight to the dance floor to dance and act as crazy as we wanted; looking out over the crowd and feeling like every person in the place was watching us, either wanting to be us or be with us.
That moment when you graze his hand, or brush up against each other, or catch and hold each others' eyes for the first time that night, and you forget how to breathe for a couple seconds.
The thrill of him asking for your number--or giving you his--after one or two more tingle-inducing touches.
That moment--that awe-inspiring moment--when you know you are about to kiss. Middle of the night, end of the night, it doesn't matter. You can see it coming from a mile away and it's all you can do not to bite your lip in anticipation. You lean into each other... your limbs go numb and your stomach hollows out and your heart is slamming against your chest and the entire world vanishes around you. All that exists are his lips, pressed urgently or gently or whatever the appropriate adjective may be against yours.
Being entirely unable to wipe the grin off your face for the next 24 hours at least, because you have that kiss--or kisses if you were really lucky!--on constant playback in your head.
Yeah, I sometimes miss those things...
Then, I stop and think about all the things I don't miss.
The cheesy pick-up lines involving my last name, for one. "Oh, you are a fox!" "Ooo, I'm gonna call you foxy!" Wow, never heard those before. I'm just glad I got away from the single bar-scene before that god-awful song came out. You probably don't want to hear what this fox says to that...
Needing to have a couple drinks at a party or on a date just to ensure I find the perfect balance between non-stop, rambling chatterbox and shy, tight-lipped wallflower.
Checking my phone every ten minutes--at least--to see if the guy who did ask for my number has sent me a text yet. Or if he's responded to my text yet. Or how long it's been since I did text him and analyzing just how "clingy" I might appear if I were to text him again... Yes, I was that girl. Pretty sure most of us were, are, or have been at some point. Right now, however, I'm sitting on the couch, in my sweats, on a Saturday night, and I'm not even 100% sure where my phone is! Kind of an awesome feeling :)
Worrying about coming on too strong. "Does he like me? Does he want to see me again? If I tell him that I like him, will that scare him away? Should I act like I don't like him?" Life is so much easier when you're with someone who consistently tells you how he feels about you every single day.
Feeling like I should or had be out mingling and trying to "meet someone" because I'm in my 20s and that's what single women in their 20s are supposed to do! Even if I'd rather just spend a night in alone, that's one night of potentially finding a mate or having wild, single-girl fun that I may never get back!
Taking off the makeup at the end of the night. UGGHHHH! Otherwise it's all over your pillowcase in the morning, not to mention smeared across your face, and somehow your neck... So you take the extra 5-10 minutes after stumbling in (whether from alcohol consumption or exhaustion, it was usually a stumble for me) to scrub away at your face in case you have to open the door or something before you've had a morning shower.
The hangovers/morning-afters. I've never been a morning person any way; throw all that in the mix... It's not a pretty picture.
So yeah, I do kinda miss those days sometimes. I'm really glad I got the chance to go out and be able to strut around and flirt and act like I was the hottest thing to walk in the door. I wouldn't trade or change any of it.
I'm also kind of glad it's over (or vastly slowed down, I should say). For tonight, anyway.
