Confrontation

Big, scary word, I know. Confrontation is something that many people try their hardest to avoid. After all, no one likes to be the bad guy, and no one likes to have enemies. I used to be one of these people; I would go out of my way to avoid confrontation at any cost.

Now, though...not so much. I don't know if it's my wit that has become sharper, my b.s. tolerance that has become lower, or my mouth that has become smarter (although the latter seems to be the most popular opinion), but for whatever reason, I don't fear or avoid confrontation the way I did when I was shy and mousey. In fact, confrontation seems to be following me around. As of late, it has been prevalent in both my personal life and my professional life, and I'm stuck wondering, "How do I handle this?"

Initially, I never enjoyed being called a "confrontational person;" it didn't sound like your run-of-the-mill compliment. After a while, however, I decided maybe it isn't the worst thing in the world to be. Maybe it can mean that I have the confidence to stand up for myself, or others when the occasion calls for it. Maybe it can mean that people aren't allowed to walk all over me or take advantage of me. Maybe it can mean that if I don't think something is fair, and I speak up about it, things can change for the better for everyone. Or, maybe it means that I don't know how to pick my battles.

My initial reaction when my head is being bitten off: bite back. But in the classic cause-and-effect pattern, biting back may result in loss of promotion, loss of job, loss of important friendship, or even loss of relationship. It has been widely suggested lately that, instead of automatically biting back, I should instead bite my tongue, and wait for the appropriate setting in which to have a respectful discussion (see, isn't that a much less scary way to say "a confrontation"? Even the word itself inspires antagonistic feelings... Damn you, society!).

Overall, I don't necessarily think being "confrontational" is a bad thing, as long as you can find a way to still be respectful about it. Most especially in professional surroundings, but in a personal setting as well.

Now that I've shared my opinions on confrontation and being laced with the title of "confrontational person," I would love to hear others' responses, ideas, etc on the subject. You know I love a debate...but that may just be my confrontational side ;)