Dear boy,
Don't let her change you,
dear boy
The boy I knew would not have gone so easily
into the quiet
into the seclusion
into the submission
The boy I knew
Saw
Wanted
Took
No excuses
No apologies
No misconceptions
No bargaining
No pleading
Only pride,
dear boy,
only pride
Can you tell me why,
dear boy?
Tell me why
you always and only
want what is not to be had
Always wanting
always wandering
always searching
Are you the tin man,
dear boy?
Are you searching for a heart?
Or perhaps a fire
to thaw the icy wall around yours
I'll see you when you return,
dear boy,
if you do
Aren't we friends,
dear boy?
Are we friends?
Things
complicate things
and people
complicate things
and some things
are just passing
Dear boy,
Don't let her change you,
dear boy
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Thursday, July 11, 2013
for Torture
I think we long for torture
For the pain
and the passion
and the grief of it all
For the searing burn
and the piercing cold
that will strike you straight to your soul
so that once and for all
you will know beyond knowing
this world that we live in is Real
it is Here
in the darkest place of ourselves
that we find
that Thing that craves the pain
that pushes away
and makes us ache
for the loss of it all
it is Here
that we long for the torture
for only the torture
releases the soul
(The words were flowing. I am simply the vessel.)
For the pain
and the passion
and the grief of it all
For the searing burn
and the piercing cold
that will strike you straight to your soul
so that once and for all
you will know beyond knowing
this world that we live in is Real
it is Here
in the darkest place of ourselves
that we find
that Thing that craves the pain
that pushes away
and makes us ache
for the loss of it all
it is Here
that we long for the torture
for only the torture
releases the soul
(The words were flowing. I am simply the vessel.)
You are more beautiful than you think
As someone who has of late been bordering on the plus-size side of life, I just wanted to send out a great big "THANK YOU!" & an even bigger "HELL YEAH!" to Oklahoma City Thunder cheerleader, Kelsey Williams.
Normally, this is the point where I would say "those of you who know me, know how much I've struggled with my weight over the years," but to be honest, I'm not really sure how many people I actually shared this with (it could be a lot more than I realize; my memory isn't always the most reliable).
I was always "the chunky kid" growing up. I wasn't severely overweight or anything, I was just always bigger than the majority of my friends. They wore bikinis to the pool all summer, I wore a t-shirt over my one-piece. I stopped--or rather, should have stopped--wearing my older sister's hand-me-downs by the time I was 12. The summer after my Sophomore year of high school, I forced myself to workout as hard as I possibly could for several hours each day, and ate only baby carrots or celery with ice water for almost a month (someone told me that you burn more calories drinking ice water because your body has to work harder to retain its temperature, and that celery was harder to digest so your body was forced to burn more calories in the process as well... I realize now how ridiculous that was :P).
The first half of my freshman year in college, I weighed myself twice a day every day, and even tried to see how many days I could go without eating anything more than a piece of jerky. Eventually, I started getting so light-headed I could barely stand up, and ended up going to student health several times before I got my priorities straight.
Luckily, those were my only forays into dangerous diets habits (unless you count being too lazy to cook when I was like 21, 22 and just not eating more than once a day a few times a week, but that was just me being lazy rather than trying to slim down :P).
Aaaaaaaanyway, to get back on topic...
When I was 24, I hit what I consider to be a milestone: I bought a bikini. AND, I even went out in public in said-bikini for the first time! Ever! And you know what? Even though I was at the heaviest weight I had ever been, I felt hot! Now, you need to understand something; I know how judgmental people--ok, girls--can be about anyone with a little bit of pudginess walking around in a bikini, because I used to be just as judgmental as anyone else about it. I always thought, if a girl wasn't perfectly slim, she had no business parading all that around in front of people.
Unfairly hypocritical, I know. So even though I liked how I looked--surprisingly-- I was still so nervous about being judged by everyone else and viewed as "the fat girl in the bikini" that I was constantly asking my friends and my boyfriend if it looked ok, or if they saw me and didn't know me, would they think I had no business wearing something like that?
Obviously, I am not the only person who faces these judgments (no surprise there). When I read this article--written by ANOTHER WOMAN--about Kelsey Williams, I had to put in my two cents (aka, this blog).
In the same spirit, I think everyone should watch the video below. I would love to start this as a nationwide--or even worldwide movement. Everyone deserves to know that they are more beautiful than they think.
Normally, this is the point where I would say "those of you who know me, know how much I've struggled with my weight over the years," but to be honest, I'm not really sure how many people I actually shared this with (it could be a lot more than I realize; my memory isn't always the most reliable).
I was always "the chunky kid" growing up. I wasn't severely overweight or anything, I was just always bigger than the majority of my friends. They wore bikinis to the pool all summer, I wore a t-shirt over my one-piece. I stopped--or rather, should have stopped--wearing my older sister's hand-me-downs by the time I was 12. The summer after my Sophomore year of high school, I forced myself to workout as hard as I possibly could for several hours each day, and ate only baby carrots or celery with ice water for almost a month (someone told me that you burn more calories drinking ice water because your body has to work harder to retain its temperature, and that celery was harder to digest so your body was forced to burn more calories in the process as well... I realize now how ridiculous that was :P).
The first half of my freshman year in college, I weighed myself twice a day every day, and even tried to see how many days I could go without eating anything more than a piece of jerky. Eventually, I started getting so light-headed I could barely stand up, and ended up going to student health several times before I got my priorities straight.
Luckily, those were my only forays into dangerous diets habits (unless you count being too lazy to cook when I was like 21, 22 and just not eating more than once a day a few times a week, but that was just me being lazy rather than trying to slim down :P).
Aaaaaaaanyway, to get back on topic...
When I was 24, I hit what I consider to be a milestone: I bought a bikini. AND, I even went out in public in said-bikini for the first time! Ever! And you know what? Even though I was at the heaviest weight I had ever been, I felt hot! Now, you need to understand something; I know how judgmental people--ok, girls--can be about anyone with a little bit of pudginess walking around in a bikini, because I used to be just as judgmental as anyone else about it. I always thought, if a girl wasn't perfectly slim, she had no business parading all that around in front of people.
Unfairly hypocritical, I know. So even though I liked how I looked--surprisingly-- I was still so nervous about being judged by everyone else and viewed as "the fat girl in the bikini" that I was constantly asking my friends and my boyfriend if it looked ok, or if they saw me and didn't know me, would they think I had no business wearing something like that?
Obviously, I am not the only person who faces these judgments (no surprise there). When I read this article--written by ANOTHER WOMAN--about Kelsey Williams, I had to put in my two cents (aka, this blog).
In the same spirit, I think everyone should watch the video below. I would love to start this as a nationwide--or even worldwide movement. Everyone deserves to know that they are more beautiful than they think.
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