One month down!

We survived our first month in the big city!

Exactly four weeks ago yesterday, my husband, our infant son, our dog, & I moved from Nebraska to Orlando, Florida. We left our 944 sq ft, two bedroom, one bath rental house with a big yard, drove for three days, & moved into an 844 sq ft, two bedroom, two bath, second-floor apartment.

It's been an adjustment, to say the least.

I think it's been hardest on our dog. The poor guy was so used to having a yard to run around & play fetch. We would even open the door & let him go into the unfenced yard by himself. Now, he has to wait until one of us can take him out on the leash & find a designated dog area to do his business. I can't wait for the day when we can have a yard for him again.

Greg & I have been having a hard time adjusting to our new surroundings, as well. We're not what you would call "city people" & it's been difficult to get used to living surrounded by and on top of other people. Everything down here is also incredibly expensive, so while there's no shortage of things to do & see, the necessity of paying our bills & stocking up on groceries has kept us pretty limited on our outward adventures. But, we still try to get out & see as much as we can on a budget; I was lucky enough to see Disney World's Magic Kingdom with my parents while they were here helping us move in, & Greg & I are making plans to visit Universal Studios during Halloween.

We are trying to make the best of it, but to be totally honest, we're both just kind of counting down the months until he's done with school & we can move on to where we really want to be (spoiler alert: it will NOT be in any city!).

On the plus side, I am loving all the time I get to spend with our little boy. I'm doing the stay at home mom thing, & I swear I could stare at him all day. He is the absolute light of my life, & his little smiles & laughs are...indescribable.

Another fun fact: there are lizards everywhere!! And they're adorable :) A vast improvement over the innumerable garter snakes of Nebraska --cringe & shiver-- Turns out, these little lizards are anoles, & we've seen them in a variety of sizes & colors; black, brown, green, gray, & anywhere from 1/2 inch long to 6 inches. I'm rather fascinated with these little guys, & my goal is to touch &/or hold one before we leave. I'm going to try & get some pictures of them to post, but they are incredibly quick little things! Watching them dart in & out of the plants & trees is pretty entertaining. The dog wasn't quite sure what to make of them at first, but now he doesn't really pay attention.

So, there's a very brief overview of our first month in Orlando. Not much to report so far, but hopefully the Elwood's Adventures in Orlando will have many more exciting chapters coming soon.

Letters I'll Never Send - Vol. 1

I'm sorry I am not sorry.

Let me clarify...

I am sorry that you feel like you can't talk to me about what's going on in your life anymore. I am sorry you seem to feel like...we're in competition with each other? But most of all, I am sorry, so so sorry for what you've been through. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, & I don't pretend to know how hard it is, was, or continues to be.

But I am not sorry that I met the love of my life first. I am not sorry that he proposed after we'd been together for several years. I am not sorry that we got married at the time that was right for us. I am not sorry that we got pregnant, even though it wasn't 100% planned to happen at that time. I am not sorry that I had a safe, easy pregnancy & birth. I am not sorry that I have the most beautiful baby boy.

I am sorry that all of these things seem to have caused an irreparable rift between us. I'm sorry that we can't talk about anything & everything like we used to. I'm sorry we can't/don't go out dancing anymore.

Finally, I'm sorry I can't keep trying. I feel like you gave up on our friendship the moment I told you I was pregnant. While I can only imagine how hard that was for you, I can't imagine completely withdrawing from the life of someone I called a best friend - especially at a time when they were embarking on something so frightening and exciting and utterly life-changing. It hurt. It hurt that you didn't reach out to me. It hurt that you barely responded when I would reach to you. It hurt that you couldn't support me, but I think it hurt worse that you wouldn't let me support you.

As much as I want to share this new chapter of my life with you, I don't think it would be well received. As much as I want desperately to be part of all the upcoming chapters of your life, I think I'll have to watch them from a distance.

So yes, there are things I'm sorry for, & things I will never be sorry for.

And I just wanted to say that.